author’s note

nobody’s died yet.  that’s bad.  i’ve got to kill someone real soon.

yesterday i was on jury duty.  i sat next to this way cute blind guy the whole time, and got to take him places and tell him things.  we had fun.  but with jury duty, relationships are for one day only.  but i’ve been thinking fond thoughts about him all day.

for jury duty, i brought in my notebook, and my split pea soup, and some homemade sourdough, and a bag of nuts.  and i wrote 3500 words.  it took all damned day long, for $25, which is more than i make in a week, not kidding.  in the end they didn’t pick me because i’m an artist.

i mean, what else could it be?  the prosecuting attorney asked me what kind of art, and i said mostly fabric art but i’m writing a novel.  and the defense attorney asked what i was writing, and i told them.  “the grown kids all get together and decide to kill mom, but by the end of the story mom’s the only one left alive,” i said.  “it’s a comedy.”  they all laughed, but when it came to picking the jury, they stopped at the girl to my right, and me and the blind guy and everyone beyond us got to go away.  i walked him to the street and tried to wait until a cab came by.  really nice man.

i couldn’t find a reference to the subject of our proposed trial.  it was some guy from the way fucking hood shot up some other guy, with a lot of family and a lot of witnesses and autopsy pictures and cops.  back in march. and i have loads of amusement at these jury proceedings because everyone’s up there lying.

no, i won’t be influenced by the charges brought against the defendant.  no, i don’t believe that where there’s smoke there’s fire.  no, really, my back gives me stabbing pains whenever i sit for more than five minutes.  i’ve got an autistic son and an elderly sickly wife taking care of our grandchild who’s half bloodworm.

out in the hall more of the real attitudes come out.  well, he looked guilty.  anyone from those neighborhoods deserves jailtime.  that poor man, just a victim of society.  i’ve got a project due, i can’t take time out for this shit.

the first several times i was on jury duty, i was doing my damnedest not to get picked.  i would answer general questions that were red flags – have you ever had a bad experience with law enforcement.  do you believe that children should be held responsible for their actions.

but lately i’ve decided that i could write a really fun little courtroom comedy, with every juror on the make, every official corrupt, everyone having sex with everyone else, and various murders.  throw in everything.  a closed courtroom farce.  everyone’s done it.  i could to.

if only i could get on a jury.

this time i said it would be okay to be picked.  i was open to anything.  and i got this nice guy, so dapper, so pleasant, so patient, so cute.   something something for the blind, but i couldn’t find him on the internet.  no last name.  and two first names, one the guy in the hall called, and one that he told me when we were standing around waiting for a cab.  oh yes, the plot would have plenty of sex.

but they didn’t pick me.  i answered truthfully all their questions – i had family member in trouble with the law.  i had a bias against prosecutors in general.  i had specific grievances.  and when it came time for the individual interviews, they didn’t ask me anything about any of the red flags i threw down.  they asked about the legal troubles, and then asked if i was an artist.

so next time, i’m going to track who answers what questions.  i’m going to take good notes of the process, and i’m going to keep my card in my lap and just not answer any of their questions.  and see where that gets me.  except i see where some jurisdictions have access to your criminal records when compiling jury lists.  but i’m not volunteering any opinions.

next time i’m going to keep track of who answers what, and see who gets picked by what they said.  and maybe they’ll pick me because they won’t know anything about me.

but in the meantime i wrote a very long chapter and a bit.  i’m a good deal farther on, but still nothing momentous has happened, so tomorrow someone has to die.  i never actually got to the killing part when planning out what happens next, this just occurred to me.  i guess i should look over my next few days worth of work and decide where i can fit in a killing or two.

i mean, the chocolates are here now, and they’ll appear again, but they won’t be used until the last part of the story.  and oh, i don’t know.  i wasn’t expecting to put the owner in so quickly, or the security tech.  and here they are, and if i’m not mistaken i’ve just introduced another character as well, but i don’t remember who.  someone shadowy who is floating around nameless as well.  i’ll remember; else it must have been a lie, my dad always said.

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