author’s note

well, i’m done with my fourth day of writing.  the characters are still going on by themselves.  i’m still having to listen for the dialog, for the starting sentance.  still staring into the distance trying to figure out what happens next.

writing without a functioning, tightly written plot is somewhat fraught with anxiety.

but anxiety is the juice out of which we create.  the stomach acid of our thoughts.

it’s great fun, tho.  i love to paint, but paint takes skills i’m still developing.  somethng about writing, about words.  my fingers know how to type.  really fast.  my head knows how to have conversations with itself.  my daughter says i talk like i’m trying to entertain a reader, so i guess i know how to tell stories – my stories, anyway.

just wait until i do my ex the ax murderer novel.  my fictionalized autobiography.  that’s nothing but stories.  the kind i used to get spanked for making up…

on nanowrimo today there was a pep talk letter from one of my favorite comic authors, a guy named jasper fforde, who writes fairy tale characters come to life, and other even better things.  he wasn’t funny today.  he was earnest.  but he didn’t say anything that i’m not already doing, so that’s good.

this chapter departs from the pattern set up by the first three.  i was going thru the kids from eldest to youngest, and closing with mom’s side of everything.  i did an introductory round in the first chapter, development in the second chapter, and started introducing the spice in the third chapter.  this of course is not what i’d planned to do for the opening chapters.  not exactly.  it kept getting spread out, and stages kept getting put back.

but this fourth chapter is set in the strip club.  it’s a place where a lot of the individual death-plot details get worked out.  it’s also a place of mistaken identities and confusion where all the familial threads (4 kids x 4 spice x mom and allen = 32) can be tangled together.

for this chapter, i concentrated on gordon and laurie, rick and bill, and left everybody else in their beds.  for the next chapter i’m going to continue into the next day.  the only thing i know is that rick has to bail allen out and give him his task, allen has to report to gordon, judy’s going to run into rick somewhere, and cindy’s going to contact rick’s wife, who still doesn’t have a name.  jim has suggested esther, but i’m not sure.  it’s so old fashioned.  maybe barbie.  nah.

esther’s too good.  i want rick’s wife to end up trying to kill him, and i’m not sure which biblical person that would be.  a search comes up with some legal reasons why you can kill your wife, however, and that’s interesting.

i guess i’d better come up with a name soon.  minnie, because she’s such a mouse.  i don’t suppose my trouble fleshing out rick’s wife is because the character is a portrait of me when i lived with my ex the ax murderer.  it’s probably because i can’t go to the kabalarians site to check the name out because they want money after 6 names.

i’ve started keeping notes.  i put them on a separate page at the bottom of my trainwreck.doc file where i’m writing this.  i keep a laptop down in the studio and i hang there with jim while writing my 7 hours a day.  who’da thunk it would be an all day task writing 2-3,000 words?  the  notes are on things like revelations of the characters’ characters, or how the plot twisting is going to work out, who’s going to kill whom, things like that.

but we’re expecting a houseguest interruption of our day soon; a patron of jim’s come to buy a painting.  i need to start bringing in more money, too, so maybe i should try to sell this story…nah.

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