author’s note

i finished the second day’s writing rather late this evening.  i didn’t actually think i’d get to the end of chapter two yet.  but it seems i have.  it’s not the same chapter two that i outlined, because things have changed.  already.

i kind of wish i started my days earlier.  we don’t actually get going on our day’s work until around 10 each morning, even tho we’re up at dawn.  and i find it kind of nerve wracking to only be writing cindy’s part at around 3, with still gordon and mom to go before i quit.  today i was still writing gordon at 6, and jim had dinner on the table already.

my characters have changed too, already.  judy is much more fucked up than i gave her credit for, and cindy is already fixated on killing mom.  it’s really easy to write rick, his problems just come tumbling out of my fingers.  but i notice that i’m not spending as much time on gordon and mom as i am with the others, and i wonder if that’s going to make a difference.

it won’t after tomorrow, tho.  tomorrow i need to do another round of fucked-up family, and then i can move on to actually trying to kill mom.  which was supposed to be chapter three, but is now chapter four.  and so what…

i’m having a lot of fun with this.  it’s moving along quicker than i’d planned.  we’ll see where it bogs down, but for now, aside from some pausing and woolgathering (what would cindy do?) it’s going well.

one thing that bothers me is that when i’m writing the characters i still see my own family doing the actions, where i’ve put a bunch of others in place to steal bits and pieces from.  i still have to remind myself that rick is my ex the ax murderer, and cindy is a demented mary tyler moore, and gordon is a bunch of jim’s sick friends.  as the story moves forward and people get crazier, tho, the standins will become more apparent.  they only still resemble my family because they haven’t started acting crazy yet.

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