what drives them crazy

i’ve been thinking about the first conversation, the first chapter.  i had to get jim to help me figure out what it was about mom that drives each of them crazy.  mom’ll start in on each of them in turn, and only when we get to mom’s version do we find out that it’s been a very caring and considerate conversation.

judy – mom wants to know how often she’s going to aa meetings.  she throws her lack of education in her face.  she chastises her about the mess in the house and says that if she were still living at home she’d make her clean up.  she treats judy like she’s still a teenager.

rick – he wants mom to mortgage the house and lend him the money to cover his debts, and she thinks this gives her the right to control his expenses, like the money he spends sending the kids to private school, and that new car he bought that woman he married.

cindy – mom keeps bringing up things from her childhood, and comparing her unfavorably to judy.  she denigrates her husband because he made his money from blue collar pursuits, she criticizes her weight and style.

gordon – mom unloads all her unhappiness on gordon, who hates hearing how much pain she’s in.  she keeps thinking the other kids are stealing things from her, something he encourages because he’s the one stealing.  he also borrows money from her constantly, and depending on her mood it’s a gift or a loan, and she holds it over his head.

when it comes to mom’s side of it, the kids practically beg for her to comment on what they’re doing wrong, even tho she called to be nice and loving, they drive her to wonder where she went wrong raising her kids.

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