January 27, 2010

u can’t make this up

Meet the world’s second ‘pregnant man’: Scott Moore expecting baby, ‘Miles;’ in February – report

BY NEIL NAGRAJ
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Originally Published:Tuesday, January 26th 2010, 12:42 PM
Updated: Wednesday, January 27th 2010, 9:33 AM

Read more:http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/01/26/2010-01-26_meet_the_worlds_second_pregnant_man_scott_moore_expecting_baby_miles_in_february.html#ixzz0dqC1Cp0F

Congratulations, it’s a boy – who will give birth next month.

Two proud papas are expecting a baby boy in February, London’s Daily Mail reports, in what will be the world’s second known case of birth by a “pregnant man.”

“We know some people will criticize us, but we are blissfully happy and not ashamed,” Scott Moore told the newspaper.

Moore and his husband, Thomas, were both born female and have undergone surgery to change their sex.  The transgender Californiacouple is legally married, as Moore still has his female birth certificate.

Baby “Miles”  has two brothers waiting for him, 10-year-old Logan and 12-year-old Greg, Thomas’ children from a previous relationship with a woman who has since passed away.

Moore, born Jessica, told the paper he first realized he wanted to be a man when he was 11.

“When I told my family, they thought I was crazy, but they gradually realized I was serious and allowed me to start taking male hormones when I was 16 years old,” he said.

His parents eventually paid for him to have his 36DDD breasts removed, the paper reports, but he could not afford the high cost of full sex reassignment surgery.

Moore still has female reproductive organs, and got pregnant using the sperm of a friend in June 2009, the Daily Mail reports.

Thomas, born Laura, underwent sex reassignment surgery last year. “We were so happy, we did what all gay men do when they get excited – we went shopping,” he told the newspaper.

Their story echoes that of Oregon’s Thomas Beatie, who grabbed headlines in 2008 when he became the world’s first “pregnant man.”  Beatie, born female, had undergone 10 years of sex reassignment therapy before becoming pregnant.  Shortly after the birth of his first child, he became pregnant with another.

Moore and Thomas, who are planning a natural birth at their local hospital, are confident that their son will be able to cope with any teasing he might get about his two dads.

“We’ve been through it already,” Thomas told the paper. “My son Logan was bullied, but now he just says to teasers: ‘You may have a problem with my two dads, but I don’t, so you’re not hurting me.’ “

Read more:http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/01/26/2010-01-26_meet_the_worlds_second_pregnant_man_scott_moore_expecting_baby_miles_in_february.html#ixzz0dqBkko26

January 21, 2010

my first review

a first review for any of my novels, for which i’m eternally grateful.

i told my kid that my first review wasn’t exactly a rave, and she fussed at me for always saying and doing things that make people look at me funny, and how i should mend my ways and try to be less crazy.  but jim and i are quite pleased at this review.  sorry for any scarring, tho.

rating onrating onrating onrating offrating off

Train Wreck Indeed

EditorFiona
January 20, 2010

Oh my.

This is . . . .different.

It all starts with phone calls from Mom to each of her adult offspring; a pothead, a ruthless businessman, a disturbed socialite, and a drug dealer. Apparently she’s saying horrible things to them and clearly it’s her cruelty that warped their lives.

But on the next page, the story’s told again from Mom’s point of view, and it turns out she was reminiscing lovingly about their childhoods and missing them and was really saying something quite different, but they weren’t listening, just hearing what they thought. The pathos of this almost made me cry.

However the fuzzy moment and sympathy for Mom is short-lived. Soon it becomes clear that everyone in this story is batshit crazy. It’s all so over the top, you soon realize you’re not expected to suspend disbelief. It’s a parody of the most dysfunctional family you can imagine. There’s also strippers, thugs, domestic abuse, roasted pets, scads and scads of drug abuse, infidelity, extortion, kinks you’d rather not know about, and of course at least three murder plots against Mom.

So, although there are no actual trains in it; Train Wreck is a good title to describe my reaction to this story. It was definitely not my cup of tea, but the horror of it was somewhat hypnotic. It’s not a serious story, so it must be meant as humour, but I did not find it funny at all. It’s rather hard to rate, because it’s so much not to my taste, and I know it’s not great literature, yet I will allow that it takes a certain quality of imagination and creativity (disturbed!) to dream up something like this.

Three stars “worth a look” seems right to me. Worth a look if this sort of thing is up your alley; otherwise don’t risk the mental scarring.  If you enjoyed the movie “American Beauty”, this is not unlike it in word form.

A clever touch is the use of links as illustrations.

this is a work of transgressive fiction, and as such, it’s all about the bad side of people.  i mean, not that any of us are bad, really, just stupid and misguided.  but we have bad attitudes, and we make bad mistakes, and we do bad things.  that’s how i put it to my 2.5 year old grandson, anyway.

and here’s a grand blurb, taken from the review.  yes, you can say i’m pleased.  thanks, fiona, wherever you are.

The pathos of this almost made me cry…everyone in this story is batshit crazy. It’s all so over the top, you soon realize you’re not expected to suspend disbelief. It’s a parody of the most dysfunctional family you can imagine…the horror of it was somewhat hypnotic. It’s not a serious story, so it must be meant as humour, but I did not find it funny at all…it takes a certain quality of imagination and creativity (disturbed!) to dream up something like this…Worth a look if this sort of thing is up your alley; otherwise don’t risk the mental scarring.  If you enjoyed the movie “American Beauty”, this is not unlike it in word form.

she said american beauty.  yeah.  can you see producing this, kevin spacey?

January 21, 2010

u can’t make this up

Witness: Peterson indicated he’d kill his 4th wife

Jan 21, 2010 5:52 PM EST

By DON BABWIN
Associated Press Writer

JOLIET, Ill. (AP) — The stepbrother of a former Illinois police officer accused of killing his third wife told a hushed courtroom Thursday that he believed he might have helped his relative dispose of the body of his fourth wife, who has not been seen for more than two years.

Thomas Morphey testified at a hearing to decide whether prosecutors can use “hearsay” evidence to try and prove allegations that Drew Peterson killed his third wife, Kathleen Savio, in 2004. Peterson hasn’t been charged in the 2007 disappearance of his fourth wife, Stacy, but authorities say he is the only suspect.

While the Will County hearing is about the death of Savio, Thursday’s testimony focused on the day Stacy Peterson disappeared. Prosecutors would not say why Morphey was being asked to testify about Stacy Peterson, but Will County state’s attorney’s office spokesman Chuck Pelkie said the reasons would become clear in the proceedings.

In a packed but quiet courtroom, Morphey said Peterson suggested when they talked on Oct. 27, 2007, that he intended to kill Stacy because she planned to divorce him, win custody of their children and take Peterson’s money.

Morphey said he drank heavily the next day.

“I just heard someone was going to murder somebody else,” Morphey explained.

Peterson brought Morphey back to his Bolingbrook home, went into a master bedroom and rolled out a large blue barrel that Morphey estimated weighed up to 150 pounds.

“He had me grab an end, he grabbed the other end and we proceeded down the stairs,” Morphey testified. “It felt warm.”

Morphey stopped short of saying that Peterson directly admitted murdering Stacy and he said the two men never talked about what was in the barrel. Earlier in the day, Morphey testified he had told Peterson that he always assumed he had killed Savio, but that Peterson denied it.

Savio’s body was found in an empty bathtub in her home in 2004. Her death had initially been ruled an accidental drowning – until Stacy Peterson’s disappearance led officials to exhume Savio’s body, conduct another autopsy and conclude Savio was the victim of a homicide.

The story of the blue barrel has been central in Stacy Peterson’s case. Numerous search parties over the years, including divers, have focused on finding it, but it has never turned up.

In court, Morphey said he had not wanted to go with Peterson, in part because he didn’t want anything to do with what Peterson did. Morphey did not explain why he agreed to help him.

According to his testimony, the two men took the barrel, put it in Peterson’s SUV and Peterson drove Morphey home.

“‘He said, ‘This never happened,’” Morphey testified. “I said, ‘I won’t tell a soul.’”

Nevertheless, Morphey said he later told his girlfriend, brother and a neighbor. He said he was stressed out, nervous and drinking more than normal.

Morphey said he didn’t contact the authorities because he wasn’t sure the incident would be handled fairly due to Peterson’s job.

“He was a police officer,” Morphey said. “I thought, ‘What would be the point of calling 911?’”

Morphey said his fear led him to overdose on the anti-anxiety drug Xanax in an attempt to end his life.

“I felt everything was coming down on me,” he said. “I’m still scared to death.”

In a cross-examination, Peterson’s attorneys raised questions about Morphey’s mental state and whether was a credible witness.

Morphey suffers from a bipolar disorder and has admitted to drinking too much as well as problems with drugs. On Thursday prosecutors presented evidence that buttressed what Morphey said happened. That included video footage and witness interviews showing that both men made a trip to Starbucks around the time of the alleged blue barrel incident.

Peterson’s stormy marriage with Savio was mentioned Thursday in afternoon testimony.

A son from Peterson’s first marriage to Carol Brown described watching Peterson in 1993 dragging Savio into the house by her hair.

“She was screaming for help,” said Eric Peterson, who described Savio as drunk. “He was pulling her down the stairs.”

Eric Peterson, who once spent weekends with Savio and Peterson, has been estranged from his father since 1993.

© 2010 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

January 19, 2010

u can’t make this up

Ex-mistress says minister admitted killing wife

Jan 19, 2010 5:26 PM EST

By ANGELA K. BROWN
Associated Press Writer

WACO, Texas (AP) — A minister drugged his wife, handcuffed her to the bed under the guise of spicing up their marriage, then smothered her with a pillow until she died, his ex-mistress testified Tuesday at his murder trial.

Vanessa Bulls said Matt Baker, then a Baptist preacher, had talked about killing his wife and making it look like a suicide. His wife, Kari Baker, had previously attempted suicide, Bulls said.

Bulls told jurors she did not help Baker plan the murder or participate in it, but she never reported it to authorities because she was afraid of exposing the affair that she said began about two months before Kari Baker’s 2006 death. Bulls, 27, also said she was afraid of being arrested for knowing about Baker’s plans but not stopping him.

Bulls said she understood “what he was capable of” but tried not to think about it as she continued seeing Baker for about three months after his wife’s death. She said Baker told her he was happy with her so he would not harm her.

“He was and still is a manipulative liar who took me in my vulnerable state and made me believe everything he said,” said Bulls, who has been granted immunity from prosecution.

Baker’s attorney Guy James Gray told jurors last week that Kari Baker’s death, initially ruled a suicide, only became a murder case after authorities found out about his affair. Baker, who faces up to life in prison if convicted, has maintained his wife committed suicide because of severe depression.

Under cross-examination, Gray asked about the account Bulls gave to several law enforcement authorities over the last four years, including some details that differed from her testimony Tuesday.

Bulls acknowledged that during those interviews she had repeatedly denied the affair and knowing anything about whether Baker killed his wife. She even said she “didn’t tell the whole story” to the grand jury but didn’t explain why or when she decided to do so.

“He’s never going to admit guilt, even if he’s found guilty,” Bulls told jurors. “I’m setting things right.”

Bulls said she met Baker in the fall of 2005 at church and that their affair began in February 2006 after he convinced her to have counseling sessions because of her divorce. She said Baker disparaged his wife, making fun of her weight and saying she was a horrible mother to their two children because she was depressed about the cancer death of their middle child.

“He said he wanted her out of his life,” Bulls said, adding that Baker told her divorce was not an option because it would mean he could never preach again and he was concerned that Kari might fight for custody of their kids.

Bulls said Baker talked of various ways to kill his wife: a drive-by shooting, hanging her and making it appear to be suicide, and tampering with her car brakes. Once when Kari was late arriving home, Baker told Bulls that he “started getting excited that maybe she did have a wreck and he wouldn’t have to do anything,” the woman testified.

Baker even put drugs in his wife’s milkshake one night but she complained that it tasted funny and didn’t drink it, Bulls said. He also told Bulls that he ordered Chloroform online, Bulls told jurors. He obtained the prescription sleep aid Ambien secretly from his mother-in-law’s house, Bulls said.

She said Baker decided to kill his wife on a night she was trying to spice up the marriage. Baker said he emptied the casings of sexual enhancement drugs he referred to as “horse pills” then refilled them with Ambien, Bulls testified. She said Baker told her that his wife took the pills, unaware that he had switched the medicine. He took the real pills.

Bulls said Baker handcuffed his wife to the bed, kissed her until she fell asleep and then kissed her forehead, telling her to give their deceased daughter a hug or kiss for him. Baker then smothered her with a pillow, but she gasped for breath, so he put his hand over the pillow directly over her nose until she died, Bulls testified.

According to Bulls, Baker said he then typed and printed a suicide note and rubbed Kari’s hands on it in case authorities tested for fingerprints.

Bulls said she began to feel trapped with Baker because he said he was a preacher, so no one would believe her if she told. Then she broke up with him and urged him to turn himself in.

“He became irate. … He said, ‘I killed my wife for you and now you’re leaving?’” Bulls told jurors.

She said about a month later, Baker called to ask how she was, in what she described as “the creepiest phone call of my life” because he sounded completely normal. She said she reiterated that she wanted nothing to do with him.

“He said, ‘I miss you.’ … I said, ‘You’ve got to turn yourself in.’ He said, ‘God has forgiven me.’”

Bulls’ testimony was to continue Tuesday afternoon.

© 2010 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

January 7, 2010

my excuses

or, why i’m not writing right now.

i see i’m getting a lot of new readers because i listed on blog catalog.  this is a good thing, and welcome all.  i’m at the very climax of my story as i write this, some 27 chapters into it.  i already see what i have to do to the second draft to make it approach what i originally had in mind.  this first draft is turning out sketchier than i wanted, but the idea is to get it done.

however, shit happened.

my ex husband fell down the stairs and broke his neck and both wrists, and had to come and stay with me after he got out of the hospital.  so we had a family xmas.  it was fun.  and then he be’d a really bad patient and left in a snit on the full moon, but that’s a story i’m telling here.

anyway, i’ve been busy, and i’ve got swine cold, again.

am i right  - i’ve been catching what passes for swine flu over and over again since this summer.  i keep getting the same head cold, and it goes mostly away and then i get it again.  we pass it around the family.  is this how we’re all getting swine flu?  is it that we keep catching something mild again and again until our immune system is sapped and we get walking pneumonia and die?

that’s what i think.

anyway, i’m tending to family stuff right now, and trying to laze about and do nothing so i can recover, but that’s not happening.  you can’t justify sitting in bed all day reading a book and sleeping when you’ve got a swine head cold and a grandbaby and a grown daughter who’s as needy as her father with the broken neck.

i hardly ever see jim these days.

December 30, 2009

Day thirty-four

Chapter Twenty-Seven continued

After the dinner at Mom’s, Cindy forgot all about the medicine chest she’d stolen.  But she discovered it in the back seat when she went thru the carwash before going to kill Mom.  She put it next to her on the front seat, and worked it open while her car went thru the suds.  There were bottles of penicillin from the ‘80s – Mom had been breeding antibiotic resistance for years by only taking half the pills and stashing the rest.  There were 50 year old bottles of paregoric, tranquilizers, amphetamines.  A drug store in a box.  There was even some morphine, and a syringe.  All horribly out of date, but this stuff didn’t lose its punch, most of it.  Cindy’s mouth watered.  Which should she take first?  ValiumHaldolPhenobarbitalBenzedrine?  She wanted to try them all.

It’s no wonder that she fell asleep on the way to Mom’s, and Xynthde drove the rest of the way.  Standing on the grass in bare feet, wobbling with the breeze, Cindy and Xynthde weaved in and out of each other.  Gradually Cindy understood that the dragon master, the wicked witch herself, was inside the fortress.  Gradually Xynthde understood that Mom was the wicked witch herself.  They both agreed that the wicked witch needed desperately to be killed, and that it would take the two of them working together.

They could hear dragon breath.  It sounded like wind rustling the bushes, except it was regular.  They looked around.  The bushes rustled.  Something was hiding behind them.  They drew their weapons and crept forward, stalking the dragon.

Drug interactions produce strange side effects.  A couple of hours ago, Cindy took a fistful of Xanax, which calmed her down remarkably.  Helped her to achieve a few minutes of sleep, in fact.  One of her favorite daily drugs, and one she habitually doubled or tripled the dosage of, because it was so good at making everything okay.

But the trouble with Xanax is that it makes you evil once it wears off.

Xynthde rummaged thru the satchel they’d brought.  The stickiness intrigued her.  Ah, the magic box.  This time containing the sacred bonbon of life.  It would make them invincible in battle.  Xynthde loved chocolate.  They shared it, for luck, then licked their fingers and moved into position.

The dragon stirred.  Cindy felt the rage build up inside her.  The dragon – might as well say Mom out loud – was the enemy she’d been fighting all her life.  Any shred of independence was hers only because she’d hacked and cut her way thru.  The way she lived, the things she owned, were only hers because she snatched them out of the hands of that greedy bitch, who sucked the life out of her.

She felt the power of her rage.  All the side effects of her many medications gathered together and took a vote.  It was a close race, and they held a runoff.  Cindy was dizzy.  She was weak.  She was agitated.  She was confused.  She was excitable.  She was exhausted.  Her heart raced.  Her breathing slowed.  Her kidneys got gummy and stopped up.  Her liver exhaled toxic waste.  Her blood pressure dropped.  She grew cold and hot at the same time.  Her vision grayed out.  She struggled to stay conscious.  She struggled to remember her mission.

The dragon was breathing on the intrepid warriors.  Its noxious gases corroded their skin.  The smell of burning hair was overpowering, but the smell of burning flesh was strangely appetizing.  Cindy could feel blood lust creeping over her, and looked in Xynthde’s eyes to see it boiling there, too.  An unspoken strategy passed between them.  They readied themselves for the charge.  Cindy checked her Glock; Xynthde wielded her battle scythe.

“One, two three, whee!” Cindy wailed, the very thing her parents said when they lifted and swung her between them as a toddler.  Xynthde gave it to her as her personal battle cry, because of the good vibes the sounds contained.

Together, Cindy and Xynthde burst out of the bushes and exploded across the moat, crossing it in a single leap.  The portcullis was dropping fast, the sharp spikes were twisted and corroded.  Cindy wished she’d had a tetanus shot the last time she was at the doctor’s.

They fought thru the guards and into the central courtyard.  Spying the last of the ladder being drawn into the keep, they bounded over the heads of the guards and with a mighty leap, thrust their weapons thru the last rung, nailing the door open.

The dragon’s stench was strong in the keep.  There was her famous evil chariot over in the corner, and stolen loot piled against the walls.  The dragon had probably just been thru there, and was at this moment in some deep lair inside the keep.  The stink of ages rushed out around the brave warriors, but Xynthde had a potion against poison gas, and the girls shared three deep snorts and prepared for the long battle to the room at the top, where the dragon lived, and the wicked witch worked her evil.  Or could the wicked witch be in her laboratory?

They split up.  Xynthde ventured down to the dungeon, where she freed many prisoners and slayed all the guards, but the dragon and its evil master weren’t there.

Cindy creeped up the spiral staircase to the room at the top, thankful the stairs were made of stone.  The wicked witch could always hear her sneaking around when the stairs were wooden.  The smell became more pungent, rotting flesh and shit, heat and stale air.  Cindy’s nostrils wrinkled and her lip curled involuntarily.  She approached the heavy door.  She released the safety on her weapon.  She paused to listen.

In the tiny room at the top of the stairs, open to the air and the rain, rotting animal carcasses piled in the corner, the witch and her evil dragon crouched, holding their breath, smelling like fear.  Cindy wasn’t fooled.  She was waiting for Xynthde to catch up to her, and then they were going to finally kill the wicked witch.

The fumes made her sick.  She puked quietly, careful to project it into the middle of the stairwell, hoping to keep the slimy juices away from the steps.  Where was Xynthde?

Cindy grew weak.  The wicked witch was sapping her strength, sucking the life out of her even thru the heavy door.  But here was her friend and companion, and suddenly Cindy felt renewed.  They retreated half a circle and checked each other’s armor.  Xynthde shared some speed, and they shot morphine into the small veins under their tongue.

The dragon sniffed at the bottom of the door, identifying them.  They could hear scratching and snuffling and the blood curdling voice of the wicked witch, wanting to know who was there.  The time was now.  They stood together on the landing, gave each other a last embrace, and burst thru the door like Butch and Sundance.

* * *

Continue chapter 27

December 27, 2009

Day thirty-three

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Laurie and Gordon got home as the streetlights were going off.  The rain chose that time to puke all over them, and they had to wade to the trailer.  It had been a rough night, and all Gordon wanted to do was go to sleep, but Laurie was turned on by all the shooting and wanted him to make love to her while twisting q-tips into the place where she was shot.

Sometime after they fell asleep, Sindee and Cindy left a magic chocolate for Gordon, whom they had discovered secretly raising dragons in the crawl space under his trailer.  Cindy put it in a box that Judy had given her some useless craft thing in.  Sindee drove over to his trailer, and they left it perched on his windshield wiper.

He got up out of bed late in the day, and went outside to check his car for any GPS devices Sam and Dave might have installed.  There he found the box left by his sister.  The box was ruined and flattened by the rain, but the chocolate inside was moist and delectable.  He ate it on up, schnapps dripping off his chin in the rain, and then went back inside for that box of chocolates he’d rescued from the club.  There was a hole in the box, and a spent bullet knocked around inside.  Gordon lifted off the cover, laughed out loud, and ran off to wake Laurie and show her.

Food porn.  The tip of the bullet just parted a perfect bonbon, stuck in a crevice it had created with the last of its momentum.  A little bit of pink juice was leaking out around the tip.  Allen would never believe it.  A bullet, breaking the chocolate’s cherry.  It was poetic.  He should save it.  But Gordon loved chocolate.  He should take a picture with his phone.  But he didn’t know where his phone was.  Oh well, Allen would have to take Laurie’s word as backup.  She would back him up – she watched him eat it.

Laurie got up, got a drink, got high, and put on Natural Born Killers.  So I blame it all on Woody Harrelson.  Gordon sat and tried to watch the movie thru a blue haze of smoke.  Laurie started in on him about Mom.  Going off about how evil Mom was, pointing out all of Gordon’s faults and tracing each one back to Mom.  It was crystal clear that he was totally dependent on Mom, because if there was anything she knew in all its guises, it was addiction.  Gordon was strung out on Mom’s money.  Duh.  More importantly, he was at grave risk of being just like Mom.  Just as crazy, just as controlling, just as self-centered.

Them’s fighting words, but Gordon was a peaceful man.  Laurie’s incessant droning ate into his brain, her relentless criticism ate at his tender heart, her repoisoned chocolates ate at his insides.

He decided, amid snorts of coke and joints the size of his dick, that the best way to stop Laurie’s carping was to eliminate the object of her carping.  It seemed the simplest solution.  Without Mom, Laurie would be happy.  His job was to make Laurie happy.  It was simple, every way he looked at it.

He made his mind up abruptly.  It unfolded before his eyes.  He and Laurie rode in like Mickey and Mallory, trading hip soundbites as they blasted everyone away, having sex over their dead bodies.  Right.  All his inner senses told him this was doable.  And not only doable, but his obligation, and his alone.  An artistic statement.  He was willing to rearrange the bodies if need be, in order to work with his scenario.

He told Laurie his idea between hits off the meth pipe.  “Hey, babe, let’s go do something really fun.  Let’s go fuck up someone you really hate.”  Laurie squealed with delight.  “Where’s that shotgun?”

* * *

Cindy was in agony.  Burned and scabby, her wounds throbbed and itched under the dressings.  She screamed for pain pills, and got the doctors to write her nice prescriptions for OxyContin and Darvocet.  She took double the recommended dose of each the moment she left the pharmacy, waited twenty minutes for them to kick in, then took four more in her driveway.  Then it was time for a nap.  But first, she hunted around and took a little cocktail of antidepressants and beta blockers with an amphetamine high-note and a vodka chaser.

Xynthde got up an hour later in a bad mood.  The magic box was empty, but she took it with her.  When she opened it later, it was a little cake that said “Eat Me,” so she took a bite.  She felt curious all over.  Xynthde ate half, then decided that she needed to see Alice, take her the rest of the delicious little cake, which conferred invisibility.  This showed Xynthde’s true heroism, sharing the gift of the gods.  Xynthde drove her chariot to Alice’s fairy castle in the sky, but there were dragons guarding it.  She’d seen them fly in from the west, where the wicked witch’s fortress threatened all peace in the land.  But suddenly there was the solution.  How simple.  She must follow the dragons back to their lair and kill them all.

Cindy woke up behind the wheel of her car.  It was pulled over, halfway on the grass, around the corner from her mom’s house.  The wheels sat in deep ruts, her foot still on the gas.  She was disoriented, and dizzy as she got out of the car.  She wasn’t really sure where she was, and had no idea how she got there.  She grabbed her purse, on the passenger seat, and didn’t look inside.  If she had she would have found a box with half a chocolate leaking all over the bottom of her bag, a 9mm gun, three full clips, a taser, four or five empty prescription bottles, her wallet, cellphone and a pair of handcuffs.

* * *

continue reading chapter 27

December 26, 2009

Day thirty-two

Chapter Twenty-Six

The next day was cold and rainy.  It rained all day long.  The cold seeped into everything, slowed and dragged at everything.  Mechanical devices froze up, doors stuck, wheels and bearings turned reluctantly.  Fingers and toes were stiff and painful, backs ached, sinuses clogged.  Anything that rusts up in wet weather was swollen and hurting.

Everyone was affected by the rain.  Traffic snarled, lines grew longer, people got grumpy.  Everything took twice as long, and lots of things just didn’t get done because it was too difficult to get around.  Not that it was any more inclement than usual.  It’s just that this was a Class A depressive rain, strong enough to make birds and mammals suicidal, magnetic enough to give computers headaches, complicating everything enough to make it not worth doing.

It was a full moon.  Usually a high energy time, when lots of people do impulsive things.  But the rain had dampened the energy, sedated the natural exuberance of the full moon, like it was on Prozac.  So everyone gave their impulses precedence, but the consequences worked themselves out in slow motion.

Overnight, a flock of John Does came into the ER.  Several with acute lead poisoning, without IDs.  Several Jane Does impersonating zombies and giving only aliases.  Toward dawn those that could talk became a little more forthcoming.  Half a dozen walking wounded all claimed to be going down the street minding their own business, but were pretty fuzzy about which street.  And one poor asshole beaten all to hell who croaked on the table, whispering Roxy with tears in his eyes.  All in all, it was a banner night in the ER.  They’d planned for it, of course:  they came out of the woodwork on a full moon.

Nobody ever mentioned the full moon on the morning news.  People at the network noticed the uptick in strangeness, they even had a disaster betting pool every full moon, but it went without saying that astrology wasn’t newsworthy, so it was never mentioned.  Judy was the only one of the siblings who would have noticed this, or cared.  She would have sat there and lectured the TV screen for twenty minutes on why the full moon was a big deal.  But she wasn’t watching television right then.  She was having her own full moon crisis.

Just a couple of hours before the sun would have come up, if the sun were not depressed and lethargic and hadn’t taken a valium and gone back to sleep, Judy decided that she was going crazy, and drove herself down to the hospital.  There was a line, even at four in the morning.  Noodling in her head about how wrong it was to make crazy people wait patiently in beige waiting rooms, she went off to the bathroom to roll a joint, and snuck out to smoke it in the hedges between the parking lot and the ambulance entrance.

The rain had slackened a little, but fat drops splattered on her from the bushes.  She took a couple of tokes and started to relax.  Maybe she wasn’t really crazy.  The next ambulance came over the hill, whining and blinking.  She watched it come as the rain picked up again, wondering what kind of human tragedy it carried.

They had Rick in the back of the ambulance.  She was positive.  She stuck her head right into the gap between bushes and peered at him while they got the wheels down.  He was horribly hurt, and very bloody, but it was her brother.  She took another hit while the rain rolled down her hair, then carefully put the joint out, wrapped it in a stickie, and hid it in her pocket for later.

By the time she got inside he had already died.  They were doing painful things with electricity in another room, and she was in a beige waiting room at the bottom of a long sign-in list.  She sat under the television, ignoring the blather, thinking.  She was crazy.  And her brother was a goner, the EMTs had said he was running to the light as they wheeled him in.

Well, she never liked him anyway.  But still.  Her brother.  Her oldest younger brother.  She remembered how it was, being kids together, pulling each other’s hair, ganging up on the other two together.

Somewhere he became a caricature of what their parents and the times had taught him.  She had too.  She was a campy old hippie, he was a cruel, driven tycoon.  Not really themselves, but outfits they wore.  The innocent kids, that was the real them.  Or maybe not.  Maybe the innocents had been switched out long ago for the conniving, scheming, self-centered, vindictive people they were now.

If they were still kids inside, then they could be forgiven.  If they were responsible for the nasty pieces of work they’d become, then they were all fucked.

By the time the list worked its way down to Judy, she had decided she probably wasn’t crazy, and went home to get a little sleep.

* * *

During the night, Cindy met Sindee.  They went walking in magic rain cloaks that kept them dry.  On a dragon hunt, they were wounded by the swipe of a claw.  It itched horribly, and swelled and burned.  Sindee showed Cindy how to cauterize her arm in the campfire.  A dragon scratch is poisonous.  Sindee explained many things to Cindy.  They became very close.

That morning, Cindy woke up to find her arm bloody and scabby, the skin weepy raw and angry looking.  The itch of her poison ivy was gone, but nothing stopped the pain of the wound in its place.  She clutched her elbow and ran to the bathroom cabinet, where she downed two Oxycodone, furious she didn’t have any more.

She screamed at Bill when she found him sleeping on the couch.  How could he just lay there and let someone set fire to her in her own bed?  Bill didn’t answer.  He was tied to the couch, covered in paint and other liquids from the garage.  He promised not to tell a soul what happened, a horrified expression on his face.

Distracted from the pain, she untied him and let him go.  He ran off as if expecting to be shot in the back.  She thought to call the cops and report another attempted murder, but Bill wouldn’t be there to back her up, and she didn’t feel like being laughed at again.  She was too stressed to be nice to sarcastic cops right now.

* * *

When Judy woke, it was as dark as when she got home, and raining heavily.  She wondered if she’d slept an hour, or was it that evening?  Or tomorrow morning?  The confusion continued until she was fully awake.  Which took many cups of coffee and whisky, and the few roaches set aside – for when she ran out of pot.  Which she had done.

You could argue that it was Judy’s desire for weed that led to her doom.

Frank’s sudden death sent her into a tailspin.  She stopped cleaning and organizing, stopped taking care of the house, the yard, the trash.  She stopped washing her hair.  She stopped bathing and changing her clothes.  She smelled like rotting skin.

She went around in filthy socks, soiled pajamas and a ratty housecoat, the pockets overflowing with stickies.  Why they hadn’t seen to her right away when she’d gone to the hospital like that, she couldn’t say.  A reasonable person would have wanted Judy put away the moment he saw her.

It was early in the day.  Having contacted Allen for an emergency supply, and agreeing to meet him at the liquor store, the one-stop idea being a prudent measure when she was a little impaired, she shed her bathrobe and staggered to her car.

She weaved and dodged and drove ten miles under the speed limit all the way home.  Arriving safely, she noticed a car in front of her house.  It was a representative of the county, waiting in the rain to talk to her.  He was there to inspect a report of hoarding made by those seemingly nice EMTs, and to take appropriate action.

She walked him thru the house, pointing out the progress she’d been making.  But all he saw was the devastation of her grief.  He made her sign papers condemning her house as unsafe.  He gave her a card and told her to call for more information, and warned her that the process could take some time.  He gave her a moment to collect a few necessities, and suggested she go to a shelter for the night, or a hotel, or maybe she had family nearby she could stay with.

She spat into a puddle, got in her car, and left.  Circling back, she returned to the house once he’d gone.  There were new locks slapped on all her doors.  Rain dripped inside her clothes and down her body.  Her socks and shoes were sodden.

* * *

Go to chapter twenty-seven

December 22, 2009

you can’t make this up

Staggering amount of prescription drugs found in Brittany Murphy’s bedroom: report

BY GEORGE RUSH IN NEW YORK AND NANCY DILLON IN LOS ANGELES
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

Originally Published:Tuesday, December 22nd 2009, 12:30 AM
Updated: Tuesday, December 22nd 2009, 1:49 AM

A staggering trove of powerful prescription medications was recovered from Brittany Murphy’s bedroom after her untimely death, investigative notes obtained by TMZ.com reveal.

The notes from a Los Angeles County coroner investigator say Murphy, 32, had been complaining of shortness of breath and severe abdominal pain for seven to 10 days before she went to the bathroom about 7:30 a.m. Sunday and collapsed.

Her mother found her on the floor a half-hour later, according to the notes, and Murphy’s husband, Simon Monjack, attempted to revive her by placing her in the shower.

“Large amounts” of prescription medications were found on Murphy’s nightstand, and the coroner also found “numerous empty” bottles of prescriptions written to Murphy, her mom, Monjack and unidentified third-party names, the notes said, according to TMZ.

The drugs included the anti-seizure medication Topamax, anti-anxiety medications Klonopin and Ativan, pain relievers Vicoprofen and hydrocodone, depression medication Fluoxetine and hypertension medication Propranolol, TMZ reported.

The shocking report follows an interview Monjack, 39, gave to Access Hollywood in which he hit back at suggestions that he was a bad influence on the “Clueless” star.

“My world was destroyed yesterday,” Monjack said.

He said his wife’s mother found the body in the bathroom.

“Her mom screamed for me and I ran. Then called 911,” he told the celebrity outlet.

Coroner spokesman Capt. John Kades told the Daily News that investigators booked the medications into evidence.

He said Monday’s autopsy found no obvious cause of death and that a final determination may take up to two months. .

Murphy’s estranged dad, Angelo Bertolotti, demanded a full probe.

“It just astounds me that she’s dead,” he told The News. “She was just so bubbly, even as a little girl. I don’t recall her ever having any health problems.”

“She got married and everything seemed to go downhill,” said Bertolotti.

A friend of the star echoed persistent rumors that Monjack – who reportedly opposed the autopsy – was a poor match for the saucer-eyed starlet.

“When Brittany married Simon, she cut off communication with a number of people who cherished her,” the pal told The News. “She lived in denial about him.”

“I don’t know why anyone would think that,” Monjack shot back in the Access Hollywood interview posted online. “She found love. We found love.”

In an eerie last interview, Murphy said this month that she had concerns about her frail frame. “I am a bit thinner now than what I would like to be,” she told Fox News.

Denying rumors of drug use and eating disorders, she told Access Hollywood at the same press event: “As far as having a New Year’s resolution, I’d love to have a child next year.”

ndillon@nydailynews.com

December 21, 2009

author’s note

just in case you think i’ve forgotten, i’m still embroiled in dealing with my ex’s broken neck.  they’ve still got him in hospital after 5 days, and now that it’s monday they’re going to have a look at his heart because he’s showing v-tach, whatever that is.  so i’m still waiting until he gets out of the hospital.

and then i’m going to move him up here and nurse him back to health.  not necessarily because i want to, either.  but that’s another story.  i guess i’ll have more to say about that at my cancer blog, where we talk about life and death things.

i wrote a total of two hours yesterday, after coming home early from the hospital.  but i made progress.  there’s just so much to do.  the only things in this next chapter i haven’t touched are the core things – the deaths of gordon, cindy and laurie.

but i’ll get there.